Ask Alice

I just started dating someone I really like and we have been spending a lot of time together, because of this my friends seem to be getting upset and telling me that I’ve chosen him over them. What can I do to make everyone happy?

This is a problem that I think a lot of new couples deal with. The big issue is balance; you need to learn how to become a tight rope walker making sure you don’t start tilting to one side and ending up flat on your face. Keep in mind that your friends are used to getting all of your attention and that you were available to them 24/7, but now, because of the new relationship, it’s more like a 9-5 relationship and it’s gonna be hard for them to adjust. However, they will, if you keep up a good balancing act. Now this goes for the new person in your life as well; you might really like them and they might make you happy, but you cannot forget about those who made you smile before, your friends. Be careful not to give off the impression that you don’t care about this new relationship . So you need to figure out how to schedule time for each of them and yourself, because it’s okay to want to have some me time to curl up with a good book and a cup of that amazing Tim Hortons coffee. Just remember don’t treat your friends like dirt because who knows, if the relationship does not work out you might be left alone and no one wants that.

All my friends seem to have their futures planned out, and I still don’t have a clue. Is that normal?

Yes, that is totally normal. In fact, most people have no idea what they want to do with the rest of their lives. The classes you are taking may even help you find something you enjoy doing and help make your choice easier for the future, as your friends who claim to have all the answers probably don’t. For example, a science student could think they want to be the next Stephen Hawking and then take a drama class and change their mind to wanting to act on broadway. So don’t freak out about the future but try and enjoy the present; have fun with your friends, binge watch a whole series, go to a spa and just relax because I have no doubt that everything will be alright and you will find all the answers you are looking for.


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