Ask the Mad Hatter

Why do the British call waiting in line ‘queuing’?

It’s simple! Deliciously simple! Long words increase circulation to your head. Boulderdash! Pelican crossing!

What do you like with your tea?

Oh, that would be company. I thoroughly enjoy company except for one exception when other people are around.

How can I properly introduce myself to people?

Well that’s quite an excellent not bad question, no, it’s not! You give this person a firm handshake. Shake yourself very thoroughly or else they’ll think you’re very rude!

How do you feel about animal testing?

It’s so wonderful! All those little mice in their fancy little lab coats, they’re just all so adorable! I absolutely love it!

Why is the sky blue anyway?

It’s dreadful, so dreadful. He’s been feeling so down lately. But down, I mean up. By up, I mean he’s experiencing crippling debt and his wife left him.