Bandersnatch’s New Dilemma

It’s Week 6, and Bander has been having its own set of problems. Despite us all being students, struggling as we’ve just finished a third of the semester, we still helped write this amazing paper. We thrive under this added responsibility and pressure, but there’s only so much we can handle, and lately, sh*t has been popping up like daisies during the spring because of our club.

Currently, we’ve had a lot of discussions on how to use our budget, with production nights, LED lights in the room, coat racks, a garbage can (finally) and the most conflicting of all: the hoodie versus sweater debate. That’s right; Bander has been looking into what sign of pride we should walk around the school in. Let’s face it – either option is proof of our horrible consumeristic and materialistic lifestyle that urges us to buy the same thing over and over again with no real need for it. They also both send the same message: “Bandersnatch is awesome” and “Join us”- things we’ve been writing as headlines for several issues. We all want them, we just can’t decide which. Consequently, we’ve resorted to a “democratic” system.

This democratic system was made as a poll on our infamous chat, one that has been drowning in messages that have forced some into muting it. The poll is simple: sweaters versus hoodies. Members started voting, and as the results started coming in, people started to express their opinions and urge the others to vote for their preferred option. Personally, I don’t care. The object in itself holds little value to me, nothing near what our actual issues are worth as well as our group pictures and memories. Yet, I couldn’t stand the endless buzzing of the chat, and I too was called out by a fellow member named Dani, making me actually look at this ridiculous debate.

It was honestly funny. The type of funny that’s stupid, but you can still laugh about. So, I decided to get involved. I casted my vote, checking the hoodie spot because I have enough sweaters. Sadly, this caused me to betray my friend Dani, who wanted the sweaters more than anything, and brought the hoodies into a 2 vote lead. Max, our Editor-in-chief, expressed his appreciation for my vote, since he wanted a hoodie. After that, I ignored the chat like usual, and was later told by my friends/members that apparently Max now wants a sweater. This random change in desire wavered the vote into a tie, and is making our democracy into a questionable dictatorship. That’s right- the classic power of veto by our own Editor-in-chief, or, should I say, “dictator”. What to do, Bander? How do we rise as members and ensure our democracy remains intact? In truth, I’ll say it again, but I don’t care. Apparently, Max now wants both, so who knows when his mind will change next and if he will take control of the decision. Other members have expressed themselves on this issue:

“To be honest, I voted hoodie in the original poll, and for most of the time I was a staunch supporter. However, I decided to betray my brothers and sisters and go to the sweater side” – Connor (Assistant Editor-in-Chief)

“The mood in the Bandersnatch office has never been more tense. The civil war has caused so much hatred between friends. I pray every night that we’ll return to the good ol’ days” -Kyle (Production Manager)

“Every night I wake up in a cold sweat, wanting to scream, yet I can’t. I just want everyone to be friends again, I MISS MY FAMILY” -Andrew Wood (Entertainment Editor/ Webmaster)

“As a sweater supporter, I am seriously hurt by the injustice happening in our club. The hoodie supporters are just being absurd.” -Dani (Arts & Culture Editor)

“I voted for hoodies and the good thing is our dictator, Max, was for it so I didn’t have any problems trying to convince him. Also, since he’s probably a Communist, he would want everyone to have the same thing.” – Krista (Librarian).

So there you have it. I can’t emphasize enough how stupid this is, but we as students can’t handle not having these additional problems. It’s about time Bandersnatch makes its decision and ensures that democracy prevails. If you were touched by this story, or if you personally think that the debate is real, let us know. MIO me to know which you think is better if you care.

Also, I just found out that it won’t be bought using the budget, so it all seems like it’s for nothing unless you have 40$ for it.


Camille Pigeon
Procrastinator Editor

Originally Published in Vol. 47 Issue 9 on February 21st, 2018

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