Remember how I said my parents were making me to do more chores? Like it’s still total garbage, but I’m actually making some serious bank from it! Like, I didn’t know I was gonna make money from this! It almost makes me feel bad for kicking over the garbage can the first time they asked me to do it. So things aren’t so bad anymore, and, like in class, Jenny actually talked to me again. It’s been like 2 weeks since I called her hot, and I can tell she’s still kinda salty about it. But, like, at least she talked to me again. Maybe I still have a chance with her! I mean, who wouldn’t resist me, right? Especially with all the money I’m making! If Ricegum has told me anything, the more money I have, the more people will like me. I gotta cop some expensive clothes online, that’s sure to impress Jenny!
During lunchtime, the boys and I decide to go across the street to show off how cool we are at the college. We usually just go to make fun of the nerds, like, I’m 13, and I’m cooler than them. I saw that they had a newspaper called “Bandersnatch”. What kind of stupid name is that! I saw this kid with glasses in there and I thought I’d have some fun with him, until he chased me out with a rolled up paper. What a jerk…
Originally Published in Vol. 47 Issue 4 on October 25th, 2017