Negative Two Ply Toilet Paper

Following up on a complaint about a year back on water pressure in public and hotel bathrooms, I have noticed that this issue has not been terribly resolved. Generally speaking, the water pressure is still far too low compared to the thickness of the soap, and the taps require that I play musical chairs, because they tend to superheat extremely quickly to the point of scalding. Now, I have another piece to add to this epic saga involving intense trials and tribulations:
Toilet paper.

Someone told me that the public bathroom toilet paper might as well be negative two ply, as it tends to accomplish absolutely nothing. While I acknowledge the reasons for using the negative two ply paper are due to the overall cost being low relative to the great quantity per roll, it still does not excuse it. When we are in the washroom, we should be kings and queens sitting on our royal thrones; however, these papers just seem pitiful and peasantry.

In addition, from an environmental perspective, my understanding (from barely any research) is that toilet paper, regardless of the ply, has a horrendously negative impact on nature. If I need to use ten times the negative two ply paper compared to proper toilet paper, the environmental impact is going to be the same, if not worse. The greater quantity does not matter if I need to use more paper in the first place.
First world problems, I get it. I still want proper toilet paper nonetheless. Sue me.

Image Source: Wikimedia Commons

Maxim Vitale

Originally Published in Bandersnatch Vol. 47 Issue 12 on April 11, 2018