Obituary: Benjamin Fournier, Office Manager
It is with great sadness that we finally confirm Ben Fournier deceased. Of course, he could have already been dead for months, no one is sure. Ben’s mysterious and sudden disappearance had been an unsolvable mystery. We all spent hours etching this strange new addition to the lengthy Bandersnatch lore into the walls of our club room in solemn contemplation of the whereabouts of our departed Ben. Meanwhile, Oscar the Grouch (who normally resides on Sesame Street) decided to move into the Bandersnatch clubroom because Ben rarely empties the garbage can. Maybe we should have spent more time looking for him instead of continually defacing our office space, and emptied the garbage ourselves. When Ben walked in one day to the sight of this idiocy, Oscar leapt out and finished him off for good. Long live Ben, that legendary, beloved and scarcely seen office bitch.