Obituary: Camille Pigeon, Procrastinator Editor

It is with great sadness that we share the news of the departure of one hardworking individual. Late at night in her nest, this tireless student stayed awake; not to study or to do homework, but rather to watch one more episode of an anime series or a Korean drama show. Since she can recite every line by heart to the exact beat of the opening themes, even if she may not actually know what the lyrics mean, her melody woke up the rest of the household. Her brothers and sisters came storming over to her door, knocking frantically to get her attention.

“It’s a school night,” they scolded her, “please go to sleep!”

In that instant, she had one single thought: schoolwork. Reminded of an English quiz in a few hours, there was simply not enough time to prepare considering it was already the wee hours of the morning. Rushing over to her laptop, she tried to read a summary of the book as quickly as she could, and all it said was: “My mother is a fish”.

With that, between sleep deprivation and confusion, she collapsed on the spot. With amazement in her family’s eyes, she morphed into a literal pigeon. She flew right off into the rising sun, being obscured like a chameleon by the bright light; before she could do so, she hit the closed window with a splat. May you rest in bird heaven, Camille Pigeon.