Rejected Headlines
Image Source: Needpix
Sebastian Socorro
Literature Editor
– Unfortunately, schools close for a fortnight and not a Fortnite
– Sources say if you’re reading this, you have coronavirus and you’re dead
– Teachers set to travel Montréal delivering corrected homework and essays in masked Santa costumes
– Trudeau shaves all of face to raise money for a COVID-19 cure
– All future stories to be set during a contagion crisis due to everyone having the same unique inspiration
– Local student would rather take their chances than spend two weeks quarantined with family
– Washing hands suddenly a superpower
– Disney buys off COVID-19, three movies and a spin-off TV series already in development
Originally Published on www.bandersnatch.ca Vol.49 Issue 11 on March 18th, 2020