Scared

Casey Dobson
Assistant Editor-in-Chief


I stare at the shame of a silhouette sitting still and squish every piece of skin until it’s flush against my skeleton, silently wishing to sink into the shadows so I don’t have to show someone this shattered soul

I criticize each calorie consumed culminating in each calculus equation contained in my brain changing to concept creations on how to choke back fewer without causing curiosity

I abandon all hope that a life away from this agonizing agression my own brain pits me against will at any age be attainable

I recognize no remains in this ruin of the life I remember relishing in

I envy everyone existing without an ever present wish to be emancipated from this excruciating experience

I draw in my diaphragm daring all of the air to drown my lungs deep in a deadly distaste of the dreadful damsel I am, dreading the continuation of her own damned
existence

I am scared

Originally Published in Bandersnatch Vol.49 Issue 07 on December 4th, 2019