The treacherous J’ïm approached Steev’s fortress with a freshly brewed drink in his right and an open palm on his left. His grin was wide and his robes were dark, sweeping behind his back like a grand cape.
“Hey, what’s up man?”
He said it calmly. He knew there was nothing Steev could do to stop his advancements towards his land, for he held an important place in the council of Dörmmaesters.
“Get out of my room dude, I don’t want your weed stank on my couch again.”
Steev replied, referencing the time he had poisoned the air of his castle with the effects of his complex alchemy.
“No worries brah, I’m Mr. Clean. Whatchu doin’?”
Steev simply shook his head in response and took a quill in his hand.
“Homework. I gotta hand it in tomorrow and I haven’t even started.”
J’ïm snickered and laid himself on one of the seats with the drink held loosely between his fingers.
“Man, that’s whatchu get for getting in that stupid program.” He said.“You gotta live the the fresh hobo life like ME.”
The powerful alchemist whacked his chest with his fist and showed a wide, crooked grin. He then hastily raised his potion above his mouth to drink from it without noticing he was laying on his back. As soon as the green liquid touched his throat he abruptly convulsed upright and started coughing, his face slathered in vibrant green.
“Did you just waterboard yourself with Mountain Dew, you goofy f*ck?”
Originally Published in Bandersnatch Vol. 48 Issue 03 on October 10, 2018