Sub-Par, Mediocre, Sardonic Advice

Kiana Zanetti
Contributor

Here we are again, folks. I’m back again for another edition of mediocre advice and answers to your all-important, burning questions.

Q: “Hi Kiana, what is the first step to getting with a guy I like who is way out of my league? He’s kind of a big shot and doesn’t seem all that interested in me.”
-Julia

Lucid dreaming.

Q: “Hi Kiana, I’ve almost finished college, I have 70s and presently I am only failing two courses. I don’t really have the energy to up my grades… What would be a surefire way to be accepted to a good medical school?”
-Anon

Well Anon, if you can develop and patent the miracle potion that is needed to fix this problem, I can only imagine it would be in so much demand that you won’t even need to become a doctor anymore!

Q: “I took m’lady out on our first date last week but my efforts were all for nothing. I asked her to be my girlfriend and commit to me and she said no, scoffed a bit and left. Why won’t she date me or put out after I bought her dinner?”
-Nice Guy™

The same reason why Rick laughed at me when I went down to the Pawn Stars shop in Nevada expecting him to give me $200 for an old and tattered hoodie.