The Eleven Teachers You Will Have At JAC

The Stickler
This teacher always follows their rules to the highest tee, unlike others who might be more relaxed about them. If you use your phone in class, you’ll be shown to the door. If you don’t use footnotes on that small assignmnt, you lose a quarter of your marks. If you’re a minute late, you’ll be marked absent for the class. This is a teacher you don’t want to mess with.

The Concealer
Grades are only revealed on the deadline, if not after. And even if they do it before, they do not display the class average, leaving you wondering if you’re on the top of the world or in the dark depths of the Atlantic Ocean.

The Lost Boi
What’s the derivative of the cube root of tan(x4)? You don’t know, and
neither does your teacher.

The Adored
You only have good things to say about this teacher, and so does everyone else. They’re naturally funny, explain the content perfectly, and maintain your level of attention. Most importantly, they care about their students and truly love their job, and it definitely shows.

The Old-Schooler
This is the teacher who has a fatal allergy to Omnivox. They only distribute important documents in class, they never check their MIOs, and their assignment due dates are nowhere to be found on LÉA. Make sure you ask all of your questions in class and write everything down, or it won’t take long before you’re in the Land of Confusion.

The Default
This teacher gets their job done, but there’s absolutely nothing special or unique about them.

The Socially-Awkward
If you see this teacher in the hallway, they always avoid eye contact. If you try to start a conversation with them, they’ll try to end it as quickly as possible. Or maybe they just don’t like you.

The Broken Clock
This teacher has no concept of how time works. They’re constantly late, opening the door right on the border of the “15-minutes-and-then -freedom” period. They also never finish their lectures on time, insisting on speaking as students get up and leave. Or, worse yet, they give so little time to properly complete any work. And to make matters even worse, they’re never in their office when they should be.

The Crush
Van Halen – Hot For Teacher

The Indestructible
This is the teacher who taught your parents when they went to John Abbott. After decades of teaching, they only mildly lost their sanity to their craft. Their hearing has started to deteriorate, but that hasn’t stopped from doing a bang-up job. They can still remember faces of past students, whose children they are now teaching!

The Opinionated
This teacher isn’t shy to express their thoughts on current events, and will openly disgrace you if you speak against them, which will eventually lead to you getting added to their informal black list, even though they claim to be open-minded.

So yes, teachers aren’t always perfect, but then again, who is? Without John Abbott’s fantastic teaching faculty, many of us wouldn’t gain the knowledge that leads us down our career path. So thank you teachers, for all the great things that you’ve done for us.

Kyle McRae
Production Manager

Originally published in Bandersnatch Vol. 47 Issue 11 on March 28, 2018