It is with much sadness that we announce the passing of our beloved long time staff writer Victor Vasconcelos. Best known for both his ongoing series of movie reviews which brought attention to unknown yet fantastic works of cinema, and diligent meme curation. The aspiring engineer with a passion for math has disappeared. Many believe his passing is tied to a freak engineering accident.
As a third-year student in John Abbott College’s engineering program, Victor was assigned the task of creating anything he desired. With the knowledge he obtained through minutes upon minutes of study throughout the years, and much forethought the young builder decided to construct a box. This creation would be no ordinary box, but the best box the world had ever seen. His peers mocked him for choosing such a difficult project, yet Victor paid them no mind as he began construction.
After countless hours spent planning, constructing, and improving his box Victor was almost done. He practically lived in the workshop! His peers were amazed by his dedication, and many were envious of his magical box. On the final day of construction, Victor had unfortunately made a crucial error. According to eye witness Lucas Galand, as Victor hammered the final nail into his marvelous box, it spontaneously combusted. Victor was completely incinerated by his box. Experts are still perplexed by Victor’s passing as upon analysis of the crime scene it was discovered that the fantastic box Victor fabricated had been made up of six pieces of plywood held together by a handful of nails and hot glue.
Originally Published on www.bandersnatch.ca Vol.49 Issue 14 on April 29th, 2020