Your Cuffing Season Horoscope

It’s December! It’s starting to get cold, Christmas is approaching fast, and the first snowfall of the year is due soon. Henceforth, cuffing season is in full effect. With singles out and about starting to feel lonely, looking for someone to spend the most lovey-dovey months of the year with, see here what cuffing season has in store for you!

Capricorn: Dude, it’s the time to go for it. Uranus is tilting 25 degrees and Mars is totally in sight with your Jupiter. This happens like, once every few years. Take risks, ask that person out! Make sure your first date is in between 10-15 December because Romantic Venus will do a 360 in those five days and your love life will blossom. Cuffing is a high chance.

Sagittarius: You’ve been feeling conflicted lately with everything that’s been going on, which is totally understandable with Jupiter in retrograde. But as Jupiter comes out of retrograde throughout this month, your luck will return! Pay attention to those who have always been around you, you might start looking at them differently. Cuffing chance: 50-50

Aquarius: Oh honey, with Uranus tilting forwards, your want for freedom and independency is at an all time high. Even if you were already cuffed, you’re abboutta drop this person. But it will be good for you! Cuffing chance is very low.

Pisces: With Neptune spinning 360’s at 34 degrees throughout December, you are suggestible to the fu**boys/girls lurking about wanting to take advantage of the depressing effect cuffing season has on singles everywhere. Watch out. Cuffing chances are low to medium.

Scorpio: Pluto’s stillness will mirror onto your love life this December. If you are cuffed already, you’re likely to stay cuffed. If you’re currently single, you’re likely to stay so. Sucks to suck, but this is your situation so make the best of it, or try to.

Aries: Oooh girls, get your dance on! With Mars in perfect alignment, you’re ready to dance like no one’s watching and radiate hotness while doing so. December’s the month to get to a club, and maybe skip on the no shave November just in case ;). And male Aries’s! December is your time to shine as well. Though the alignment of Mars affects women more than men, the affect will show on males through your increased confidence when searching for a partner. Though cuffing is not a high chance, some fun might come your way.

Taurus & Libra: Both signs being guided by Venus, there’s a high chance that many Taurus’s and Libra’s will be getting together for cuffing season 2017. Venus is, on December 1st, closest to the sun it will be till next summer. Take advantage of the hotness, make your move on that day! Cuffing chances are high.

Gemini & Virgo: Both signs are guided by Mercury, and therefore, obviously, your communication skills are really good. In other words, you’re smooth as sh*t! This month, whether you slide in someone’s dm’s, or pick someone up at a bar, chances are you’ll succeed. Cuffing chances: High as heaven.

Cancer: The Moon governs most of your actions, and with the full moon already having passed at the beginning of November, and far away for December, your game is at an all time low. To all the Cancer’s out there, if you wanna get cuffed this month, y’all need a miracle.

Leo: Leo is governed by the sun, and with summer quickly fading away, Leo’s need to make their moves soon! Though your nature will have you wanting to stay at home and in bed for most of the time, try to get out into the spotlight waiting to shine on you this season. You’re likely to get some most when you’re wearing red this month, so wear red.


Defne Veral
Campus Life Editor

Originally Published in Bandersnatch Vol. 47 Issue 6 on November 22, 2017