Insect Infestation at John Abbott College

Artists Vs. Locusts

by Tyler Boulay

The swarm has returned for another semester as millions of flying insects seek refuge within the halls of our fine educational establishment. These predatory bugs don’t eat Tim Hortons or scavenge for cafeteria food. Instead you’ll find them roaming the corridors drinking small pumpkin spice lattes and harassing students for their quality content. That’s right, their mindless hive instinct drives them toward collecting various pieces of art such as poetry, photographs, drawing, short stories, and various other artistic goo.

Their combined inexhaustible efforts create a pretentious publication that serves to curb their lust for new artistic works for the semester. As their desperation grows, things mysteriously go missing. Teachers begin losing their class slides, finding them replaced with crude hand-drawn advertisements for their infernal publication, and the Procrastinator Editor for The Bandersnatch vanishes inexplicably, forced to write a positive article for their noble and just cause. Send help.

More importantly send in photographs, stories, drawing and poems to the Locus Magazine at locus. johnabbott@gmail.com prior to April 18th, before it’s too late.