Obituary: Vanessa Burns, Editor-in-Chief
Beloved Editor-in-Chief of Bandersnatch, VB, part time poet and ukulele enthusiast, full-time warrior against SWM™ (straight white males), has met an untimely end as her reign over Bandersnatch comes to a close. On her last day as EIC, she agonized over what to wear. Mom jeans? Suspenders? The options were vast and only utter hipster perfection would do. As she stepped outside, a halo of light materialized above her head. She’d finally done it – she achieved a look too cute for this world so it was time to move on and leave the patriarchy behind.
As she began her disintegration, she took out her phone to write one last message to her loved ones. Before she disappeared, she typed out a single word: “welp.” Nonchalant reaction to her demise, or another frustratingly vague reply? We’ll never know.