Rejected Headlines

Image Source: Needpix

Sebastian Socorro
Literature Editor

– Unfortunately, schools close for a fortnight and not a Fortnite

– Sources say if you’re reading this, you have coronavirus and you’re dead

– Teachers set to travel Montréal delivering corrected homework and essays in masked Santa costumes

– Trudeau shaves all of face to raise money for a COVID-19 cure

– All future stories to be set during a contagion crisis due to everyone having the same unique inspiration

– Local student would rather take their chances than spend two weeks quarantined with family

– Washing hands suddenly a superpower

– Disney buys off COVID-19, three movies and a spin-off TV series already in development

Originally Published on Vol.49 Issue 11 on March 18th, 2020