SubPar, Mediocre, Sardonic Advice

Kiana Zanetti
Staff Writer

In light of all of your recent brilliant questions pertaining to your relationships (or, in most cases, your imaginary yet-to-be relationships), Subpar, Mediocre, Sardonic Advice will be having a special edition this week: I will explain a foolproof way to WIN OVER just about anyone you want!

Talking to your crush can be a bit nerve-wracking sometimes, especially when you’ve gotten ahold of their number, unbeknownst to them, and finally decide to send them a message. That’s a foolproof technique!

If they fail to reply, simply continue messaging them until they eventually cave. They’ll admire your persistence. The constant dings will bring their attention to exactly what they’re missing (other than the silent mode).

If you’re told something along the lines of “How did you get my number?” or “Don’t text me!”, don’t fret. Just listen to what your mind has perhaps been telling you – they’re probably just playing hard to get!

It’s all fine as long as there is no restraining order filed against you, right?

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