Books of the Week
By Milly the Bookie
Contributor
Peter Pan
J.M. Barrie
3.5 stars
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
L. Frank Baun
3 stars
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
2.75 stars
The Murder on the Links
Agatha Christie
4 stars
Classics! I have read quite a few. “Classics” usually give an air of sophistication, intelligence, and all the smart people nonsense. Nope! I’ve read about nine classics now and they are all absolutely WILD! I don’t tend to read for any educational value (with the exception of required reading, but just ignore that), I read for entertainment, and in that department, classics are hit or miss.
Peter Pan was my most recently read classic and, oh my my, was I not expecting this…Everyone already knows the racism involving the native community, so I’m just going to leave that alone. Peter kills the lost boys when they get too old… seems like a good place to start. The stakes are much too dire for a book intended for children, and the language is way too elevated. I get that it was written in the time of dinosaurs (the language was so detached that the version I read had the definitions of words). The beginning of the book concentrates on how the parents didn’t want their children because they were too poor to afford them and were very realistically devastated when their children were kidnapped. A fun fact is that Barrie mentions that Wendy felt that “if [she] could have a pet pirate, Smee would be [her] one.” The book closes by describing how all the characters eventually grow up and die. A perfect book for children…
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is great and would be reasonable to read to kids. At least it probably won’t traumatize them, if you ignore all the decapitation and limb removal. You can blame the Tin Man for most of that. It’s brief, random, straight to the point, and fun to read as a teenager. Dorothy is like five, and she acts like it, which just makes all the madness that much funnier.
Sherlock Holmes is really boring. This is one that I put in the “miss” category of classics. Yeah, they’re smart books, but I still get infinitely more enjoyment from the shows and movies that come out of them. They barely even compare. The only enjoyment I got from the four Sherlock Holmes stories I read was showing my friends some of the awkward language. For example, at one point, Watson says: “‘Wonderful!’ I ejaculated” (using ejaculated to mean “exclaimed”) I’m immature enough that it made me laugh. Also, Holmes loves drugs. I had a good laugh with the arc of a whole book being Holmes trying to solve a murder as fast as possible so he can go do more cocaine!
You can’t go wrong with Agatha Christie, an oldie but a goldie, you know. I’ve read two of her books, but one doesn’t count because my unfortunate soul was forced to read it in French. Her books hold up; they’re smart and funny, particularly the Hercule Poirot ones. I love that guy. They’re written similarly to Holmes, especially in the Sherlock-Watson dynamic, and not the boring parts. Basically, Poirot’s friend is the character being dragged along, not understanding anything because Poirot is just so smart but it’s okay because Papa Poirot will explain. I’m not joking; he calls himself that!
In conclusion, classic books have no chill. They’re hidden gems, and I highly recommend them. Just don’t bother with Sherlock, it’s not worth it. If you like Sherlock, try The Murder in the Rue Morgue by Edgar Allan Poe. It’s great, I love it, very smart in the Holmes way, really violent but you’ll love it (unless you’re my grandma who said it was despicable).