Sunday Sprint

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The week that made no sense

Casey Dobson
Assistant Editor-In-Chief

Eagles 31- Jets 6
It seems the football players for the New York Jets missed the plane to Philly because whoever was part of this humiliating beatdown does not appear to have ever played a real snap.

Panthers 34- Jaguars 27
No amount of Minshew II magic was going to be enough to claw a win away from McCaffery and the Panthers in the battle of the big cats.

Vikings 28- Giants 10
Daniel Jones looked a lot more like a real Giant on Sunday after missing a wide open man on their opening drive and allowing Minnesota to pick up momentum from the get-go, despite the fact that their usually stellar running game was relatively silent.
Texans 53- Falcons 32
No, that’s not a typo…the Texans really did score almost as many points against the fumbling Falcons as they have the rest of the season combined and Deshaun Watson finally looked like the first-round star Houston’s been waiting for, going 28 for 33 with 5 touchdowns.

Saints 31- Buccaneers 24
Anyone who thought the Saints were done for with the news of Brees’ surgery was clearly not ready for the hell Bridgewater was prepared to unleash upon opponents. And with the rest of the team rallying behind him, Brees might actually have a playoff-bound team to come back to.

Bills 14- Titans 7
The real MVP of this lackluster game was Bills Mafia who took over Music City and helped their team improve to 4-1, a record NOBODY saw coming.

Patriots 33- Redskins 7
The Redskins finally won…a quarter!! The Patriots seemed to let Washington have their fun for the first 15 minutes before completely doing their job and proving why it was easier to find Waldo than a Skins fan in Washington.

Ravens 26- Steelers 23
Just as Mason Rudolph was fitting into the Steel City offence he was finding his way into the concussion protocol thanks to a devastating hit by Earl Thomas II that knocked not only the facemask off of Rudolph but the hope out of Pittsburgh.

Raiders 24- Bears 21
It took leaving the continent but the Raiders finally seem to have an identity, granted it helps that the Bears played the first half looking like they forgot their defence in America…

Broncos 20- Chargers 13
Someone forgot to plug in the Chargers offence as they went without a touchdown allowing the Broncos to trot off with their first win of the season.

Packers 34- Cowboys 24
America’s team looked unstoppable until they had to play some real teams. That being said, they turned a would-be smoke show (31-3) into a respectable scoreline with a late comeback attempt.

Originally Published in Bandersnatch Vol.49 Issue 07 on December 4th, 2019