The Stewart Hall Basement Bathroom: A Test of Endurance
By JACBATHROOMREVIEW
Contributor
Deep in the basement of Stewart Hall lies a bathroom so infamous, it’s whispered about in cautious tones by students and faculty alike. To call it a bathroom is generous; it’s more of a purgatory, where plumbing sins come to haunt.
That journey begins with the hallway leading to it: dimly lit, eerily silent, and perpetually cold, no matter the season. As you push open the creaking door, you’re greeted by an unmistakable cocktail of damp concrete, stagnant air, and what I can only describe as “mystery funk”.
The stalls… oh, the stalls. They’re a wonder of disrepair with doors that sometimes don’t lock and at other times take Herculean strength to shut. There’s one stall, though, that’s just an enigma: the door locks right, but once you’re inside, you notice graffiti that could give a true crime novel a run for its money. “Don’t flush. It’ll summon him,” one particularly chilling scrawl reads. I didn’t stick around to figure out who he was.
The sink situation isn’t much better. A lone faucet sits on a cracked basin, its handle wobbly and untrustworthy. Turn it too far, and it emits an ominous screech before delivering either freezing cold or scalding hot water—never anything in between.
The soap dispenser hangs limply from the wall, like it’s given up hope. Occasionally, it’ll produce a sad puff of soap, almost as if mocking your efforts to cleanse yourself.
And then, of course, there is the lighting: one spindly flickering fluorescent that throws off strange, rippling shadows. It’s just the type of ambiance a horror movie would use-right before it dawns on the protagonist that they are not alone.
Some students claim to have experienced all manner of strange events in this bathroom: mysterious puddles that appear without cause, unexplained tapping sounds issuing from the vents, and a mirror seemingly capable of distorting your reflection in a manner difficult to explain. Is it the bad lighting or something more insidious? The bathroom in the basement of Stewart Hall is not just a bad bathroom, but an experience-one that leaves you wondering why you even exist. If you want to retain your sanity, hygiene, and sense of smell, avoid it.
Rating: 0/10. Not even the most brave dare go here.