Olivia Blizzard

Opinions Editor

It is with deeply pursed lips and dramatically arched brows to announce the passing of Olivia Blizzard, Opinions Editor of Bandersnatch, who tragically met her end on Saturday, April 19th, due to fatal complications from excessive yapping. She was 19, loud, and annoying—until she wasn’t.

Olivia’s final moments occurred at Café Campus, where she was allegedly delivering a heated, 87-minute rant on the cinematic crimes of the Minecraft movie to a bouncer who had simply asked her if she had an ID. Eyewitnesses report that Olivia was gesturing with such passion that her drink (definitely water) began to vibrate from the sheer intensity of her monologue. Then, as she finally finished discussing the cinematography of the scene where Jennifer Coolidge runs over a villager, she collapsed.

Olivia now yaps among the stars, surely giving Plato a run for his money. Heaven just got a little louder.