Vinny Lima

Sports Editor

Breaking news: Sports Editor Found Dead!

As Vinny Lima settled into a cozy night at home, he flipped through the channels to land on his Cincinnati Bengals playing on Sunday Night Football. Instant noodles ready on his table and blanket wrapped around him, Vinny was prepared to see what his team had in store.

According to authorities, it was approximately 2 and a half hours later that he suffered from acute and sudden cardiac arrest. It’s estimated that with 2 minutes left in the 4th quarter of the Bengals 85 to 90 loss, on a night where Joe Burrow threw for 785 yards and 11 touchdowns, Vinny had a heart attack due to the sheer desperation of watching the Bengals defense for a couple of hours.

It was tragic, yet quite apropos that Vinny would met his end torturing himself by watching a sports team that he naively and stupidly chose to get emotionally invested in.